What Is The True Cost Of Lying for Caregivers?

Lying is a risky business. When lies occur between people, there maybe break-ups and you simply let go. When the same lies occur in a community environment, it is looked as fraud, possibly even a crime and legal action ensues. When the same lies occur in court, its perjury and it is up to the relevant authorities to see if the system is being manipulated and disrespected or not? Secrecy and lying by AIS (Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome) patients and by institutions and authorities on their behalf is wrong and insensitive. Is it same or worse as other scandals like Arnold Schwarzenegger or Tiger Woods or John Edwards, all who had very supportive spouses for years and took care of the kids. Unknowing caregivers at a very young age are victims of this insensitive practice.

From a moral perspective, between humans, what is the true cost of one lie? From a perspective of teaching your own kids, what is the cost of teaching a kid to lie for a lifetime?

Experiencing continuous lying first-hand as an unknowing caregiver at first was reprehensible and then later was numbing. As the old adage goes, when you lie once, do you say 10 more lies to hide one lie? or a 100 lies? or a 1000 lies? I suppose it never ends. After a while, not only it becomes a habit and a part of your fabric in everyday life but it becomes a necessity. From a kids perspective, it becomes confusing about what message they should take? Should they lie or not? Or if they lie, should they lie 10 more times or 100 or 1000? That is a cost we cannot calculate as you are teaching kids to lie for a lifetime.

Whenever you lie, someone else is getting hurt somehow. Or is it more sensitive to lie for someone else even if it hurts you? Something that an unknowing caregiver is forced to do. What is the cost of suffocating someone’s voice? What is the cost of a human voice’s freedom? We all saw the Arab spring recently, millions of people in several countries want their human voices heard. Sadly, some people had to pay with their lives just so that their or someone else’s human voice is heard. They left behind loved ones who still grieve for them. What is the cost of that intuitive human spirit to have their voice heard?

Is making someone lie forcibly on your behalf same as suppression of the voice? Is it oppression? As we move to a more open society, sharing every minute detail about ourselves and with information accessible easily, it would no longer be prudent to lie. What took Erin Brockovich years of diligent hard work to unearth the facts may take less time now. Not because we have gotten smarter but information has become easier to find. In this age, it is no longer “sensitive” for the medical community to lie just because they have been since the last century. It is time for them to change with the changing times. The tools available today are too smart for people to lie to each other, especially at an institutional or systemic level.

The contention is that this medical malpractice is actually spreading a different epidemic with this behavior instead of trying to solve the real problem. They may be arming their patients with a prescription to lie since authorities and so-called subject matter experts like them support them at an institutional level. The right solution is the truth. Truth to the patients, truth to the caregivers, truth to others via education and awareness. Because when they teach their patients to lie its like a parent teaching their kids to lie, it’s a very confusing message. Smoking cigarettes inside buildings was allowed before and it was cool. Smoking is no longer allowed in most buildings in the world. Times change and it is time for a change to stop lying in the medical community. Frankly, the medical community is too biased to even calculate the cost of their lying prescription. They would rather continue this malpractice and spend more time in offering some cock-eyed, scientific, logical explanation to justify their behavior and satiate their soul. We pray we are wrong. And saying it’s for “sensitivity” reasons is wrong. Because when you lie, you are hurting someone else and that is insensitive. Unless, the discussion is that one human’s life is lesser than other’s?

We may never know the true cost of a lie or a thousand lies but one thing will always stand the test of time, it’s the truth.

Tags: AIS, Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, awareness, caregiver, caregivers, child, cost of lying, education, intersex, lying, male caregiver, medical fraud, medical malpractice, spouse caregiver, support, truth, young caregiver